8. I HAVE A LOT OF CLOTHES
Despite the fact that she does think it’s all adorable, River can’t stop herself from making a slight face.
“What?” The Doctor of course misses nothing. He’s starting to smile more.
“It's very 21st century chick-flick. Who is actually that happy?” The faraway look is back in his eyes.
“They were. But they weren’t perfect.” River raises an eyebrow, interested.
“Oh? Did they drive you mad, being all lovey-dovey all over the TARDIS?” His head dips, possibly to hide a laugh.
“No, they were never like that. But there was a time a couple of days after they got married-”
“Oh so they did get married?” River interrupts. He gives her a look.
“Yes. And then they joined me on the TARDIS, and if you’ll let me finish River I’ll tell you about Amy being difficult a few days later.” She sits back and mimes buttoning her lips close.
“I’m silent as the grave. Tell away.”
“Amy,” the Doctor says one morning in the library, “Where has the wardrobe gone?”
“What? It’s…down the corridor, in the same place it’s always been. I was in there five minutes ago getting dressed, I’m pretty sure it’s still there.” She says absently, running her finger along a bookshelf with her head cocked to one side as she reads the titles. “Why have you got Tom and Pippo’s Big Adventure?”
“That’s actually a really good book! And stop trying to distract me. What I really meant when I asked where the wardrobe’s gone is actually, ‘where has all the space in the wardrobe gone?’ This is an inter-dimensional time machine which is bigger on the inside, and that counts for everything in here. Including the wardrobe. The wardrobe is…” he casts around for a suitable adjective, but can’t seem to find one. “Well, it’s big. I have been using that wardrobe for almost 900 years and it’s never filled up. But suddenly yesterday I went in there to change my bow tie and it was full! Full, Amy! My wardrobe can’t get full! What on earth have you done to it?” Amy shrugs.
“So, I have a lot of clothes. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t have this many clothes when we were travelling before!”
“Yeah well that’s because most of my clothes came from the wardrobe. You dragged me off in my nightie, remember? But then we went home and I knew we’d be staying in the TARDIS for a long time so I brought my clothes in. And don’t forget,” she adds, pulling A Tale of Two Cities from the shelf, “We went to that outlet planet.”
“But we weren’t shopping, we were hunting down a ravenous Sarping Hound!” He says indignantly. Amy gives him a fond smile.
“No, Doctor. You were hunting down the ravenous Sarping Hound. I was shopping.” She sits down on one of the armchairs, legs curling up beneath her. “I have a lot of clothes, I’m sorry. Can’t you just ask the TARDIS to make more wardrobe space or something?”
“That’s not how it works!”
Rory comes in at that moment, dressed in shorts with a towel over his shoulders. He stops in the doorway and looks around, confused.
“Hang on. You said there was a swimming pool in the library!”
“No, I said there was a swimming pool in the library. That was before the TARDIS fixed itself, I have no idea where the swimming pool is now.”
“You should put it back in here,” Amy says mildly, not looking up from the book, “I wouldn’t mind watching my boys do laps while I read.”
“Getting off the point again!” The Doctor says loudly, as Amy smirks. “Amy, you have too many clothes, the TARDIS can’t cope.” Rory lets out a sudden laugh.
“The TARDIS is complaining about Amy’s wardrobe? That’s brilliant, I am always telling her about it.”
Amy throws a cushion at him.
“Stop ganging up on me!” She protests.
“Sorry Amy. Look, why don’t I take some of my clothes out of the wardrobe? I can always borrow some of the Doctor’s.” The Doctor’s face lights up.
“You’re going to start wearing bow ties? Oh Rory that’ll be brilliant!” Rory coughs awkwardly.
“Um, I was thinking more the jeans.”
“But bow ties are cool! And jeans, what jeans? I don’t wear jeans.” Rory shrugs.
“Well there are jeans in there.”
“Hm, I wonder…oh.” His face clears. “I expect they’re Jack’s. Or Mickey’s,” he adds, “But probably Jack’s.”
“Who are these people?” Rory asks. “Why are their jeans in your wardrobe?”
“Oh Rory, the same reason yours are. They’re friends of mine, they used to travel with me. They work for Torchwood now, I think…though Mickey might have gone freelance by now, I’m not sure.” Rory shakes his head.
“Okay, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ll just, go and take my clothes out shall I?” Amy looks up from her book and smiles at him.
“Thanks. And sorry, I just-”
“Have a lot of clothes.” The Doctor chants with her.
Rory laughs. “We know.”
Part Nine - I Had A Nightmare Here